13 April 2013

Don't Go

I want to ingest you,
to swallow the charred remnants
of your bones,
inhale the ash
from my palms.
I want to incorporate you.
But nothing remains.

Instead I slide your ring
on my finger,
a knuckle of chrysocolla
framed in silver.
I drape your scarf
around my shoulders,
eat the leftover pineapple
wrapped in the fridge
still fresh.
I read your poems,
seek out your handwriting,
words you formed
in purple ink.

I talk to myself
as if you could hear me
"Ampie?" I ask,
the tendril of my voice
wrapping around your name
"Ampie?" I ask,
with no words to follow.
I am a child at bedtime,
voicing a half concocted question
that will force you to stay.

My infant voice grasps the finger
of the Great Being you already are,
the one I'm learning to become.



1 comment:

  1. Poignant, Jeny, but with strength beneath that surfaces, especially in your last stanza.

    Let me share another of Mother's writings, equally poignant, written 9 May 2008:

    SOMTHING MISSING
    "You are legally blind," the letter stated and my life hasn't been the same since.

    I cannot drive my little Honda, so I sell it.
    I need to find other transportation to the dentist, doctor, and for shopping trips.

    I can't see well enough to use my computer,so I give it to one of my daughters. My television is useless.

    Because I cannot see well enough to read,I really feel deprived.I've enjoyed reading books since I was five years old.

    At the dining table, someone else reads my menu for me. The only movies I enjoy are musicals.

    Magnifiers are helpful to some extent but awkward and tiring to use. I'm thankful for CD's. I can hear poetry, short stories, and--best of all--music.

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